5 Moments That Changed My Life

Intro

When I think about moments that have changed my life, I have quite a few. I think about how it grew me as a person. Overtime I have learned that these moments good or bad made me who I am today, and I chose a long time ago to no longer let the bad moments that have changed my life make me be a victim to myself. I want these moments to change me for the better, whether or not they were good or bad. Life can be extremely hard and it's up to you to decide how you allow these things to change you.

5 moments that changed my life, Meeting my husband Jordan, becoming a mom, giving my life to Jesus, losing my mom, and almost losing my dad.

Meeting My Husband Jordan

Jordan and I met on tinder, I was actually Jordans first match we matched the same night he opened the app. How ever I had been on quite a few terrible dates from tinder.

Jordan easily got my number with his excuse to send me a picture of a puppy. My bio on tinder was "I didn't match with you cause I thought you were cute, I probably thought your dog was cute" Most guys at the time on tinder had a dog with them in their profile pictures (lol)

Texting for a few days getting to know one another a little, Jordan asked me on a date the same week. He picked me up from my house and I was so nervous, I could tell over text that Jordan was a nice guy and by nice I mean not the jerks I was use to dating. I remember saying to my dad "I really hope he doesn't come knock on the door" and my dads response was "He better" then Jordan pulled up and I quickly went out side. I was worried my dad was going to scare him away.

We went to applebees and I just remember not be able to stop talking, this was not like me. I usually was very quite when getting to know anyone really, I had major trust issues and needing to become more comfortable with that person before opening up. But with Jordan it was different I told Him every single thing about me. We ended up being the last people at applebees that night and they had to tell us " Just wanted to tell you know we closed 10 minutes ago" . One of the biggest things to stand out to me was that, and that he didn't even try to kiss me. He gave me a hug and that was it. At first this scared me a little, it was something I was not use to. I continued to text him, call him, and go on dates. On valentines day i was supposed to go to dinner with my best friend amy but I got called into work. I was pretty bummed.l I left work late I had closing shift, I walked out to my car to find balloons and a gift bag from Jordan. No guy had ever done this for me.

Jordan quickly became my best friend, eventually we hung out everyday together, to living together, to then getting pregnant and losing our first baby together which I will talk more about later one, to then getting married. Jordan is and always will be my best friend, my biggest supporter, my safety blanket, my person.

Becoming A Mom

Oh the joys of motherhood, No but seriously being a mom brings me so much joy. It is by far the hardest thing I have ever done, but man is it the biggest blessing.

After losing our first baby, and a few years later getting pregnant with our daughter Reaghan. I remember being scared but also so excited to be pregnant again. During that pregnancy I had to surrender a lot to God.

Once Reaghan was born there was so much Jordan and I had to learn just like any new parents do, Learning to trust and lean on God's strength has taken me a long time. Once we had lincoln our 2nd born, thats when we were really thrown in to parenthood, 1 to 2 was the hardest transition for me, and lincoln was also colic. We had 2 under 2 and a baby who didn't sleep and cried ALL the time. This was a test on our marriage and on our faith. 3 months postpartum I found out I was pregnant with Judah. Can you imagine the fear I had? I became very depressed for the next 6 months of that pregnancy. Mostly from fear of "I can't handle two kids, how am i going to handle 3 under 3" eventually I surrendered my fears, and anxiety to God. We moved closer to family. I was blessed with a beautiful home-birth, and a very easy 3rd baby. Things became a little easier. I still had a lot of learning to do. I think that this last year has been my biggest learning curve in motherhood. Navigating anger and childhood trauma and thing that I had gone through and needed to basically reparent myself so that I could be the best version of myself for my beautiful children.

Becoming a mom had created a love I had never known before, and a new light and strength I never knew I had in me.

Giving My Life To Jesus

I didn't grow up in a household that talked about their faith, both of my parents were/are believers but they just weren't open about it. We never went to church, I was never taught about the bible or prayer.

God really did know that one day I would love Him more than anything else in my life. I love to look back at all the crazy and traumatic things that had happened to me in the past and see that even though at the time I didn't believe God still had his hand in those moments and was protecting me.

After losing our baby in 2018, I became so lost, but yet I was there searching for something, for answers. I started a bible study on line, it was one of jordan lee dooleys bible studies. One day during the study I just completely surrendered and gave my life to Jesus, I just remember having this feeling of something I don't know how to describe it, but i like to think and I believe that it was the holy spirit dwelling in me. That day forward I just dove into to learning more, seeking wise counsel, and growing in my faith.

Losing My Mom

I had just turned 17 and returned back from visiting my hometown in california for a month. I was only home for two days, and monday morning I woke up to my dad yelling for me to come give my mom CPR because she was unresponsive (At the time I was a lifeguard at the YMCA). I just remember feeling so helpless, I knew the second I saw her it was too late. I kept giving her CPR until EMTS arrived.

It has taken me along time to stop blaming myself, to stop rethinking the whole incident on what I could've done differently at the time.

I will never see or hear my moms voice again and that to this day kills me. It's even harder now than it was prior to having kids. I don't get to ask her for advice or what I was like as a kid. I don't get to see how much our kids would love my mom.

Even though losing my mom shook me to my core, changed me in ways I never thought possible. I still am extremely grateful for the lessons it taught me overtime. There's so many things that I see now looking back that have happened because of that tragedy. God has always held me through these deep waters even when I couldn't see it myself.

The only way I found closure was through Jesus, I had no idea my mom was such a strong believer until after she past away and I found her journals and bible that I now hold dear to my heart. For a long time I was so angry at God, I couldn't believe he would take my mom away at such a crucial time in my life. But now I see it, I see why. I miss her terribly but I know that she is at peace and one day I will see her again. I like to imagine her next to Jesus holding her sweet grandbabies, my angel babies. Grief is hard, Its a long journey of ups and downs, I never would say that it gets easier, you just learn to live with it, and some days are harder than others. I believe that God put me on this earth to help other people, to give other people hope within tragedy and heart break.

You can choose to let tragedy bring you down into the trenches, or allow it to grow you, and stretch you into ways you never thought possible. Lean on God's strength and always remember that He is Good.

Almost Losing My Dad

My dad broke his neck when I was 2, so growing up he has always had health issues, surgery, and pain. But when something out of no where happens it hits you different.

We were going about our day, I had Reaghan at the time and was pregnant with our second lincoln. My dad tripped over our baby gate and fell, I thought he may have broken his hip so i suggested we go to the hospital, well my dad hates hospitals. A few moments later her started to act weird, He was falling over in his chair, couldn't talk right, couldn't move one side of his body. At the time I had no idea what was going on, I called 911. They took 25 minutes to get to us. My dad was getting scared I could tell, which was making me more scared. When they finally got there they took him to the ambulance and then quickly ran back inside and said "I think he's having a stroke" They rushed him to a hospital that was 35 minutes away with a trauma center. The next week was a complete nightmare. At one point we had to go say our goodbyes to my dad. He had to be put on a ventilator, he had gotten aphasia so he couldn't talk, he had cardiac arrest. We thought even if he made it out of this, he would be able to walk, talk or do anything at all.

The next day, we got news that they took him off of his vent, he could breathe on his own And he was talking again!! After a week of not knowing his name, only be able to say one word which was No. My dad could say his name again, he knew where he lived, he knew his birthday. The following day he could sit up, he passed all of his stroke assessment tests. This was a literally miracle happening before us. He had 100s of people praying for him. Even the stroke doctor had told him before he left the hospital that he was a walking miracle, he had never seen someone have such a bad stroke and leave with no side affects of that stroke.

I had so much peace when this happened to my dad and the days/weeks he was in the hospital even when we had to say goodbye, I knew my dad loved Jesus.

I was also believing everyday that God would perform a miracle if it was in His will.

But ultimately God gave me the peace that surpasses all understanding. And now I and my dad have this amazing testimony of the power of prayer and how God still performs miracles. Thank you Jesus!

Conclusion

These 5 moments in my life are big ones, and to be honest I have many other ones. I think the bottom line for me is that I welcome trials, storms, and scary moments. It builds character and wisdom I read a quote today that says

"Not only so, but we also have glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured out into our hearts through the holy spirit, who has been given to us"

Romans 5:3-5

I encourage you to reflect on your most pivotal moments in your life and see all that they taught you!

xoxo, Lauren